nitty-gritty

Here’s some entertaining infos. Hope you enjoy them….

• When a Hawaiian gal puts a flower over her left ear, it mean’s she’s already taken.

• There’s a superstitious belief that on a couple’s wedding day, guests must honk their car horns to ensure that the newly weds get a great sex life

• An extra nipple isn’t as rare as you think. For every 200 women, one lady is born with this addition.

• in 2004, a battery-less sex toy was launched. It connect to a USB Port. ( Try it ladies hehe..)

• bIsexuality isn’t exclusive for humans. Most giraffes and turkeys are bi.

• It’s written on the Kama Sutra that a man can keep his tool erect by putting camel’s milk and honey on it.

• During the medieval days in France, adulterous wives were made to run after a chicken through town, naked.

• A mature gorilla’s penis is only about two inches long.

• The rhinoceros has been endowed with a penis not less than two feet.

• The practice of autoerotic asphyxiation (temporarily suffocating or strangling oneself while masturbating) kills 250-1000 people each year.. ( beware..take your time hehehe)

• $40,000 was the price paid by an american urologist for Napoleon’s penis.

• For a whole year, penguins experience just one orgasm.

• The male fetus is capable of managing an erection on the last semester.

  ADOPTED: UNKNOWN AUTHOR

Which is the better ride?

 The inventor of Jeepney died and went to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter told him, “Since you”ve been such a good man and your inventions have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want in heaven.” The genius thought about it for a while. “I want to hang out with God,” he said. St. Peter took him to throne room and introduced him to God. God recognized him and commented, “Okay, so you’re the one who invented the jeepneys, but what’s the big deal about inventing something that makes noise and pollution and can’t run without a road?!” The genius was embarrased. “Excuse me but aren’t you the inventor of woman?” the inventor asked. God said, “Ah yes.” “Well,” said the inventor, ” professional to professional, you have some major design flaws in your invention. There’s too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusion. It chatters constantly at high speeds. Most of the rear ends are too soft and wobble too much. The intake is placed too much close to the exhaust. And, finally, the maintainance cost are outrageous!” “Hmmnn, you may have some good points,” reply God. God went to his computer, typed in a few words and waited for the results. The computer printed out a slip paper. God read the output. “Well, it may be true that my ivention is flawed. But according to these numbers, more men are riding my invention than yours.”

ADOPTED:UNKNOWN AUTHOR

StiFF

Pedro goes home and finds Lolo Jose sitting in the sala without any pants on. So he goes up to Lolo Jose and says, “Lolo Jose, do you realize that you’re not wearing any pants?” Grandpa replies, ” Yes, Pedro. I do”. Pedro then says, “Well, why are you outside without your pants granny?” Lolo Jose looks at Pedro and responds, “Well Pedro, yesterday I sat here without any shirt on and i got a stiff neck…. this is your lola’s idea..”

NEVER-SAY-DIE

Its about 3:30 in the afternoon me, my cousin, and my bestfriend were drinking beer. Suddenly my phone rang! ” hey couz! i’ll be there in 5 minutes! Ready?” I said yes!!! Simply means we’re going to the big dome to watch my favorite team. The “GINEBRA GIN KINGS!”                

Yes! i’m a big fan of this ballclub since Loyzaga brothers, the LIVING LEGEND ” Robert Jaworski and the whole never say die team era.

We’re very exited! we’re 6 in the car. Everyone, an avid fan of the gin kings. Win or lose, complete or depleted line-up, those reasons won’t stop us from cheering for the gin kings.

At last! we’re already here! damn! no space for parking. It took us almost 20 minutes to be able to park the car. Not in Araneta! but at the basement of Gateway Mall.

OOOPSS!! we almost forgot our favorite snack! the cheapest of all! the “AMAZING HOPIA!” HAHAHA…The only hopia that’s crunchy! have you eaten one? It’s very cheap! no one’s allowed to bring any food inside the big dome. But we always do! Strict guards! we have to buy our drinks inside! We bought an iced tea worth P40, but it taste like tap water! hahaha. Much better to buy an iced tea at wendys worth P65. P25 more, but it’s refreshing! A real iced tea.

GINEBRA ! GINEBRA ! GINEBRA ! the big dome rock’s ! The game ball began. bad start! 23-9? DAMN! OFF-NIGHT! all the fans, started to mellow down! almost no one cheered! A lonely 1st quarter!

PRRRT!!! The start of the 2nd quater! It’s sunday’s special!! Salvacion hitting 3’s in any side of the 3pt. line! DAMN!  the big dome rocks! rocks! rocks!. A continous run until they’re back at the driver’s seat.! Those runs and good plays lasted until the mid of 4th quarter! With major pain, the fearless and sunday’s special’s heroics. Then, bang!!! suddenly a close ball game. Exchanging high  percentage shots and points.

Last 2 minutes! we watched closely how the elastopainters tied the ball game at 90-90. One minute left! cheers from both ballclub fanatics! clashing!

But a twist of faith! ginebra on top almost the whole game but within that worst minute of the game, damn! a turn of events! Elastopainters suddenly on top! 99-90 all come in 3s…3pt shot sol,ty and a 3pt play from JR.

Hearts broke! deep silence! damn! ginebra lost by 4pts at the end of the game. We slowly walked outside the bigdome , heavy footed! We travel back home with great silence inside the car. Another lonely night for the BARANGAY GINEBRA FANATICS.

NAH! we’re already getting used to that! losing! depleted line-up is really a big factor in gin kings losing skid! sad!

To all the ginebra gin kings fanatics, don’t lose hope.! It’s just the beginning! NEVER-SAY-DIE spirits still lives in our hearts, win or lose! we’re always the number one and the most popular ballclub in the league!

Cheer with me !! let’s cheer them up !!

GINEBRA !! GINEBRA !! GINEBRA!!

does it hurt?

Three tribesmen and the chief…..

CHIEF: if you wanna be my successor you have to pass in this test…

JOHN, PETER, NICHOLAS: yes, we will!

CHIEF: ok.. each one of you should bring me 10pcs of fruits of the same kind..then be back here in an hour…

The three tribesmen walked away in three different directions in a rush…

After 30 minutes John came back bringing with him ten pieces of apple…

CHIEF: ok.. you’re the first one to arrive. Insert all the apples in your ass. If you make any reaction while putting it inside i will kill you….

John on the first apple already grimace in pain..

CHIEF: Kill him!!

John was beheaded by the chief..

After 15 minutes Peter went back with ten pieces of grapes with him..

CHIEF: Put those grapes in your ass one by one.. if you make any reactions while inserting it you’ll be dead..

Peter put the grapes inside his ass one by one.. He’s almost finish but on the last piece he suddenly laugh out loud..

CHIEF: Kill him!!

John and Peter in heaven….

JOHN: Hey Pete! You may still be alive now.. Why did you laugh so loud with that last piece?

PETER: Hahahaha…. I saw Nicholas bringing ten pieces of jackfruit!!!!

BRANCHES???

Hmmnnnn… a new day again. I woke up at around 10am. I did recognize that we haven’t put up our christmas tree yet. Then i just found myself thinking bout the past. As far as i can remember, we grew up without our own christmas tree. We used to borrow our christmas tree from my mom’s uncle. Me and my “GOAL CATCHER” eldest sister used to decorate it with the help of our mom and dad. A simple yet satisfying moment for little boys and girls like me and my sister. We’re so happy decorating it and at the same time playing with christmas balls, ribbons with our parents. Then came our youngest sister who added life, joy and happiness in our lives.

I was able to buy my first xmas tree when i was about 20 years old. What’s so cute about that tree is that you can still see what’s behind it even if it already stands in front of you. In short, it’s not like a pine tree, it’s more like a n old man’s head. maybe not a christmas tree, better to be called xmas branches. he..he..he..Years after, my sister bought a tall and leafy xmas tree..A “Christmas Tree” can be called.

We’ve had a happy christmas seasons in our younger years. A family full of of joy and laughter. A christmas together. Every member of the family present, a reunion? sort of! We used to go to mass at the eve of Christmas day. Then after the mass, we do rushed in going home to look under that tree and see what’s in store for us. There were so many gifts under the tree. But i’m used to getting only two gifts, from mom and dad. Actually it’s all of my moms. he.,he,.he,. I even saw Santa Claus putting gifts in my xmas socks. But up to now, i’m still wondering, is santa a girl or a man? As far as i can recall, the one i saw was sporting a very long, black hair, colored fingernails, not wearing the usual santa costume but simply a shirt and maong short. Maybe santa’s so busy that time that he asked my mom to put the gifts in my xmas xocks in his behalf ha..ha..ha..

Years have passed, everything has slowly changed from a very happy christmas to a bit lonely one. My mom and dad decided to have their own christmas celebration. Actually me and my ever loving sister had something to do with that decision.hehe..time passed again and it’s time for my mom and youngest sister to leave for California, to try and look for better lives and opportunities. Then we lost our beloved grandmother. Nanay Oniang as we fondly call her.

Now we’re slowly getting used to it. Celebrating christmas very far away from them. Just a call from my mom and sister or even a chat in the internet and prayers for our truly loving granny.

I hope this coming Xmas day will be better and happier as years go by. I’m expecting a very happy season this year. An event that’s so fulfilling to remember, full of love and laughter.

I better put up our christmas tree tomorrow to feel more that Christmas is at the offing and fast approaching!!!

Our house is very much opened to guest and visitors this holiday season. NO GIFTS NO ENTRY! THOSE WITH CASH GIFTS ARE ALWAYS WELCOMED!!!!

am i right?

 Love changed me, the way i think, i act, the way i decide. Sometimes, i even go against my own principles and beliefs in life. Loving doesn’t always mean i’ll be happy. Sometimes, all it provides me is pain and misery. Yet i was blinded by strong emotions that i failed to see reality. Sometimes, letting go is the answer and it hurts like hell. But soon i will realize that it’s better to see the person i love to be happy with someone else than lonely with me…… It’s called “SACRIFICE”….

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